Survival tips for moms (and dads!) once the contractions are over and life as you knew it is gone for good!
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Your kids can always take your breath away. It doesn’t matter whether they’re inside you squishing your lungs, stunning you with their beauty, scaring you with a fall, yelling hurtful things at you, saying they love you, announcing that they’re moving out, or calling to say they’re having a baby. They’ll always have that power to take your breath away, and it only goes to prove the strength and poignancy of the relationship.
When you deliver your first child, lots of people have opinions about how you’d best handle it. Ways to breathe, how to position yourself, where to be, who to have along for support, and what to take (or not) for the pain. The only advice you really should take to heart? Don’t forget to breathe! Slowly, quickly, pantingly, whatever feels good to you … and consciously if you can. Aside from keeping you alive, it can make all the difference in the world when it comes to how you feel! It helps put you in touch with your body, your thoughts, and your heart.
Try it right now. Straighten your shoulders, take a deep breath in through your nose, and exhale slowly. Try it again, more slowly, and feel the air coming in to your body, pause and hold it for a second, and then gradually release it. Feel it? Even a few conscious, slow breaths can make a huge difference in your focus, clarity, and feelings.
So how well do you do at breathing, really breathing, once you’re a mom? Nobody’s reminding you, and yet you need it more than ever! A few moments here and there to get in touch with yourself again. Listening to your heart, quieting your mind, and renewing yourself as a woman.
I’m here to remind you. It’s my passion to let as many women as I can know the joy, energy, and sanity-saving power of the seven things that give me a balanced, happy, and productive life as a mom and a woman. The things that help me stop and breathe. Seven simple but critical things, one for each letter of that utterly basic and life-saving word:
breathe.
Sound like something you could use? Read on! These seven things have truly saved my life, my sanity, and my marriage since I’ve had kids. Get ready to BREATHE!
- B > Be Alone Often - Without at least a few minutes to yourself, by yourself, without distractions, your day will not be the same. Guaranteed. You also need a regular chunk of time, weekly or monthly, that gives you a chance to truly recharge and reconnect with your own thoughts and feelings.
- R > Root Yourself - What truly drives you, and what do you need to feed your heart? Don’t crowd your soul out of your daily life, start your day with it. Find your center, and touch it every day.
- E > Eat, Exercise, Energize - Pay attention to how your body reacts to different foods and eat what truly makes you feel good! Get enough exercise to keep your body in tune, and more if you want. Energizing with sleep is one of the most often neglected things in parenting, and its effects run deep.
- A > Accept Your Life - Motherhood is shocking: changes in your appearance, your relationship with your partner, personal time, sleep habits, your living space, what’s required of you, and what you’re capable of. Accept what is, moment by moment, and then change what you can.
- T > Tend Your Passions - Finding it hard to hit those parties, paint that canvas, grow that garden, or pursue that degree? Tending our children doesn’t mean neglecting ourselves. Scale, flexibility, and timing all play a huge role in successfully tending to your heart.
- H > Have Boundaries - Kids take the best of us, and if you want more than the dregs of yourself to give to your partner, friends, and passions, then having boundaries is critical. You certainly need them to successfully take time alone, and it doesn’t stop there!
- E > Enlist Support - Even if you’ve always done everything yourself, you’re headed for hard times if you insist on that when it comes to parenting. You need emotional support for yourself, babysitting to some degree, a supportive partner and/or group of friends, and a helpful family can cover a lot of bases.
Sound delicious but impossible? The beauty of the seven things is that they build on each other! Beingalone enables you to think about who you are, what you believe, and what’s in your heart. That time alone helps you rootyourself by clearing your mind and reminding you daily of what you live for. A rooted mom is clearer about her priorities, and more likely to find the time to eat well, exercise often, and energize wisely. Taking those bits of time for yourself is a huge help in accepting the changes in your life, and in deciphering which passions you can’t live without and must find time for. All of those things naturally call for boundaries, and the clarity and energy will help you set and maintain them. Underneath it all is your network of support, without which you’ll likely end up feeling insane and out of control.
It all fits together, works together, and weaves your day-to-day momhood together with your womanhood into something powerful, beautiful, and incredibly strong. You just have to remember to breathe!